Archive | November, 2010

Conditionally Unconditional?

5 Nov

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. – James 1:17

What a comforting thought? In an ever-changing world the only thing that is constant is - God and His love for you. After every failed relation don’t you just feel no matter how hard you try you can never please anyone? That even after doing everything right, one wrong move and you are held in contempt.  And then somewhere down the line you give up and stop trying.

Relationships of any sought are hard and require patience and most importantly Love. I learnt it the hard way. Sometimes you come to the end of  your wits with your loved one and then just like that you give up on them. You judge them, condemn them and persecute them for being who they are. Now I know my choice of words. Lets see each word in isolation: Judge and condemn - John 8:7 signifies that we are in no position to judge or condemn any other person in our lives. We must first look in and recognize our sins. If we ain’t no saints, who are we to judge and condemn another? But more often than not we do so. Unconsciously maybe. Now girls be honest, how many times have you looked at a girl walk into the coffee shop and you have gone like “oh my God what is she wearing?” How many times you have judged someone on their behaviour and mere loose talks and gossips about the other? It’s human nature to take one look at a person and form an opinion. We must not forget that we too shall be at the receiving end someday. Someone somewhere is judging you right now. But here the judging is of the character. I would like to focus on that. Have you ever judged someones character without knowing the whole truth? Have you ever punished somone or wished ill to happen to them because they have been wrong (according to you anyway)?  Why do we even for a minute equate ourselves to God? Who are we to judge or persecute anyone? Only God has that right, cause if there ever was and can ever be anyone truely without sin is God. And if He does not condemn you and forgives you for your sins, gives you another chance, who are you to deny that to anyone else? (John 8: 11)

So the next time you look at your loved one and in your heart feel angry or disappointed just stop and think about God and his unconditional love for you. That will help you love the person for who he/she is. Has God tried to change you? Does He love you only if you confirm to His thoughts and ideas? And if you don’t does He break hell loose on you? No right? Unconditional -  I can never grasp the enormity of the word and continue to feel that I will always fall short of living up to its true meaning.  Loving without conditions and with all his flaws almost sounds impossible and yet that’s the only way to Love truly. For me I look at it this way. God brought him to me. He expects me to look after him amd love him the way He would. Anything less would only mean to disappoint God and fall short. It takes enormous amount of strength not to scream and shout and say things which will inflict pain and hurt when you angry. You know too well but you yet do it. A little off track, but I need to stop here and pay my dues.

We so loosely use the word Love. Do we ever recognize the huge responsibility that comes along with it. You are for one allowing another person to walk into your life, be a part of it and that too an integral one. I may not be the best one to talk or even come close to preaching about Love. But i know what I am saying. When I loved selfishly – with the fear of loosing, I lost. When I learnt to love selflessly I won, I found the only one. A lot of times things happen without explanation, without reference to context or a small astric that will explain at the end of the page why it happened. but we have to go through it. Along the way maybe you may get the answer to your WHY? Love- the most interesting definition of Love I read and truly try to follow is:

” Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hope all things and endures all things. (And here comes my favourite part :) LOVE NEVER FAILS. – 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8.
Here it means true love never fails. It can never. Coz true love is not conditional on how much the other loves, it’s not conditional to its behaviour, it’s not conditional to its richness, it’s not conditional to its niceness, it’s not conditional to anything – it’s truly UNCONDITIONAL.  

The above verse uses all action verbs. Hence, Love needs to transpire into action. Love which is silent will perish. Will die out. What point is that love which cannot be expressed. Now I don’t mean go on your roof tops and scream out your love for them. Or strangle them with your corny love dialogues. No – I only ask for simple gestures, like holding their hands when you know they need you. Or putting a smile on their face even when you are sad. Basically putting them before you. Their needs before yours. Their good before yours. Only then can you say you have truly loved.

I often wonder how can you  love someone so without expectations, without asking for something is return? Then I realized as I look back to all into act the days in my life, which are not many – I recognize the importance of God in Love and relationships. Then tell me how can I not love my God the way I do -  the only one who never judged me or condemned me, accepted me with all my flaws. Loved me for who I am.  When He can love me so fully, why can’t I? And who but Him deserves my total love and committment?

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