First Walk..

21 Aug

To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. – Titus 1:15

How interesting is that thought? Have you ever pondered why you feel upset, unsettled and heavy-hearted at most occasion? Is it because of the guilt of something you have done or is it because of the pain you hold inside of you? Neither one of us can answer that by ourselves cause we are not capable.

I was conciously walking down a wrong path for months. Filled with lies, deciet and abusing ones intelligent and a beautiful and trusting relationship. I did so with such ease that one could safely say that my conscience was dead. But I was not alone in this mess. I had dragged too many people into it and one day I woke up to realize I was too down under.

Somewhere in between, I met God’s messenger. We started talking about God in general, our faith, how I perceived Him, she read verses out of Scriptures to show me where my understanding was wrong and how the only way to make all things right was to admit they were wrong. I never believed. How can it be that simplified? I mean are you seriously mocking my intelligence? After fighting God for what seemed like 3 months I broke down. I had to admit I was in a mess that no one could get me out of. I was at the verge of loosing everything.

Now people, I will share with you how it all happened. I will share because I – the one who has mocked and laughed upon people talking about life changing experiences, witnessed one.

One late Sunday evening I was calling it a day. i left the hospital room my father was admitted to and got into this huge hospital lifts that generally creep me out. No one was in it, now that was rare. I was too tired and caught up in my own thoughts to really care anyway. I had 6 floors to go, so i stood there in silence. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was a very comforting touch. i turned to look and there He was, My Father, My Lord. He simply smiled at me with compassion and forgiveness and said – ” Its time, You know what you have to do.” I actually had no clue of what He was talking. I was just trying to take all this in. He moved back at the end of the huge lift. i turned behind He stood there smiling. Knowing too well I will do what is right. The button flashed red and indicated that we had hit ground zero. I walked out and there stood in front of me bunch of people crowded to get in. I got out looked behind and searched really hard. There had to be somone in there, this seemed too real. I jus discounted this incident too be my mind playing games. i called Aunty Mary the next day and told her what had happened. She only suggested I pray and let God work in me. So i did. I accepted I was a sinner and that i am incapable of living without having Him in my life. That He will control and guide my life in the way He wants me to go, forthis day onwards His will shall be mine.

It was that day and today, I have been through a series of miracles, each of which I hope to describe at length in my later post. He made m path straight. I now look nowhere else, I seek no more, cause I found that one thing I have always been searching for.

I sincerely request all of you who think that you are incharge of your life or that you are capable of leading a life without god in the picture, let me tell you you are kidding yourself. It’s so sad that we dont recognize that He is with us when we make all the wrong choices and yet when we are hurt and in pain for choosing those He still standing on the other end to lift us up. How wonderul and merciful is our God and yet we choose to turn our backs. I am glad He found me when He did or I would be one of you reading this blog on someone elses page and wondering like you are right now..


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