I am not sure why we write. I am not sure why we blog at all. Do we want to express our feelings or vent out our anger? Do we want our words to listen to us? Or are we trying to gasconade our vocabulary to impress the world out there? Whatever the reason maybe, I love blogging and love reading good blogs (I follow one in particular- because I think he writes well and is kind of my guru). But moving on and coming to the topic at hand.
I blog because I cannot express what lies deep within me without putting it into words. I find it hard to talk to people, even people I love. I find it hard to break it down and think straight. So I write it down. I am not structured, either in my thoughts or while writing (a feedback most of my readers have given me-that’s by the way 2 of them- actually make that 1). I write hoping that if someone reads my thoughts may feel they are not the only ones going through these emotions- there are others just like them. When my fingertips find the keys on the keyboard, words come alive and I keep typing untill I am surprised with how deep those words are, see I did not say profound (I will allow you to use that word).
As always my mind flutters from one topic to another. But for this post I choose this to talk about – Why life decides to teach you lessons the hard way? I have always doubted life. He said he will look after me and that all will be fantastic I just got to be patient. And 27 years and 11 months later I am still clueless. I always admired people who had their life chalked out or how their well planned life falls like domino pieces in one line with just that one required push. Then why has my life decided to remain constant, stable, frozen. Maybe because I never planned anything in my life? I trusted and knew that the one above has planned my entire life for me and I am waiting for Him to put to gather all the shattered pieces of my jigsaw puzzle and show me the complete picture. But I am guessing He is still searching for that crucial part of the jigsaw that is absolutely necessary to move on. Now I have started wondering, is it wrong not to plan ahead or take calculative steps and plan out each minute and who stays in your life, who does not, who adds value to your plan and who would be the hindrance? Can I do that? Should I do that? I have learnt some really valuable lessons in 2012 (yes already). And I hope that’s all I learn for this year – cause I surely learnt it the hard way. I trust people easily, I see hope in people easily- I believe I can change them, help them – maybe that’s my purpose of life-maybe I am God’s little shoemaker, who can help transform people to become better human beings instead of shoes looking good. But I was wrong, I was disappointed time and again, as that person either chose to take the best from me and say good bye or stab me in the back or just asked me to mind my own business. So now I need to find a new purpose in life.
So even after I have burnt my hands, hurt myself and seen it happen a million times I make the same mistake. That’s termed as stupid according to a realistic guy. But since when having a good heart is repaid in a slap on your face. But then on the other hand I realized that life is very similar to my unstructured writing. Just like how we start off on one note and let words take its course of life, in my real life too I do that. I start a new beginning and then let it take its course. I may digress a little, but the story is still good to read. I may make a few spelling mistakes, but readers still understand the true emotions. Life is start like that. Starts on one note and ends on another. But when it’s complete it’s always a masterpiece. So instead of question God or my job or why me, I decided to just be happy, be satisfied and make the most of the moment I am in. In most cases I’ll slip but I am committed to try and succeed. So those who write in a planned and well thought out manner, I congratulate you but those who don’t you are in a for a good surprise….
This is to all those hopeless wanderers on earth who rest their faith in the God above. Who are not afraid to live an unknown life, ready to face head on all that comes their way? Yes sob a little, yes take a break, yes be shattered but with strength and dignity you stand up and do it all again…