Arrange marriage? You not finding a suitable spouse? – Have you changed your cellphone yet?

1 Jun

Recently I read an article in a leading newspaper cover the topic of how the questionnaire in a marriage matrimonial site and marriage consultants/ bureau have evolved over the years to keep by with the technologically inclined world..

I know what you thinking it’s time to switch newspapers, but it was very insightful as I was tempted to read further. I cannot disagree, some of the questions are life altering or you may say life changing. Come on you have a right to know if your prospective spouse is using an Android or iOS or Window cellphone? Does he/she have a laptop, which brand, colour, processor or an iPad, which version, how many GB, which colour? How is it fair for me to decide whether I want to marry this guy without this important piece of information?

I am not sure what the world is coming to if a leading newspaper dedicates a whole page along with interviews and satisfied customer photographs, actually endorsing this lunacy. I understand the need to know the family background, where they live, what the prospective spouse does, what are his passions, interest etc. But which phone he owns is stretching it a little. Imagine the kind of pressure you putting on the young ones. You will soon see people flocking to the cellphone shops saying – “I am looking for a match and my match maker has recommended me to come to you to improve my social status – could I have a S5 please. I want to be ahead in the game.” Since when did marriage become about material things, since when did finding the right partner become about knowing your social net-worth. How popular you are on FB or how witty you are on twitter, may be some of the first questions that pops up in the prospects mind. “You wanna know more about this guy, click on the quick links below <twitter bird, f of the facebook, in of the Linkedin>”

Why do we weigh more what car he drives over how much he can care for me? Will he be standing by your bedside when he learns about your cancer (let’s face it, it is depressing but most of us are going to die discovering all sorts of new cancers)? Will he love your children? What are his views on raising a family? How many children he wants? How will he treat my parents once we are married? Will he respect me? Will he continue to find me beautiful and adore me? Will he pull me down or give me wings to fly?

I am not sure a guy cares so much about what phone or car the girl drives. I hardly doubt he cares so much for her social networking skills. Maybe for once guys have got this right too. Majorly because he can buy you into a new phone or car incase that is really bothering him. And girls will be delighted. Also, in the Indian arrange marriage setting, boys family, social status and how loaded is he is questioned, not so much of the girls. And our system thinks that it is unfair only for women. I would assume a guy who has all the latest Apple or Droid or Windows product as soon as they are launched would be a suitable match as he can fulfill all your dreams. While some one still using Nokia (even if it is a semi smartphone) is seen as less progressive, less aggressive and an under-achiever. Why would I settle for less? Fair analysis I would say, at least superficially. I am not saying all who have the money are bad – I am just saying money will only keep you happy for sometime, but if you do not have a spouse to enjoy with or a family who will care for you. That money will look after your cancer treatment but you will be left alone on your hospital bed while he goes away to Bali for a week as this pressure is too real..


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